Look how you've grown...It's etched in skin and bone.

My dad told me recently that I need to relax and not be so uptight. That I need to just let things go and I've noticed that people have been telling me to relax as well. It strikes me as odd that I can be a writer and that I can be so uptight and that so many things get to me.
I have this horrible nag in the back of my head that everyone is going to start hating me if I don't stop, but the worst of it is that I can't stop. I get on everyone's case and I treat my friends like dirt sometimes and I am always afraid that my friends and family just don't understand.
I had a dream the other day that I was a kid again, but I was thinking like an adult. I was talking but no one was listening or understanding what I was saying and everyone assumed that I had no idea what I was talking about. What is so scary about this is that I'm not a kid and people still do this. They act like I'm completely stupid and can't figure anything out on my own, so they have to sit there and explain everything to me and fortunately thats not the case. I can figure things out on my own, spectacularly I might add, but no one seems to understand this. So I guess the real problem is that I assume everyone is doing this and then I just flip out...I don't know how to stop it, because I'm usually such a happy guy. I smile all the time, I love life, I love my girlfriend and only her and she is the only person I will ever love. The problem is I get so wigged out with school and stress builds up, I suppose I don't have an outlet. I don't drink and I don't smoke, I never have and I never will. I think I need to find an outlet, even if it means doing schoolwork. I think the best thing I can do is to just let shit go, let it slide, because if I don't calm down I'll end up like my mother: old and miserable. God knows that is not what I want.
There are very few things on this planet that I need and that I want. I have everything I want and almost nothing that I need. I need money, I need a better paying job over the summer rather than construction. I don't want to work construction every summer...it will eventually kill me. This summer is looking bad already, I'm estimated to work about 6 days a week. The only upside to this is that I'll be making $15 an hour. That's a hefty sum of money there. But the hard part will be that I won't have any time with Melissa and that's the hard part.
These are only a few of the reasons I feel like I'm losing contol on my life. I feel like I'm losing control by the second because I got guilted into working for my dad and I basically have my summer planned out right there. I get worried at the end of the year because I know what's coming my way and I know that this summer is going to royally suck harder than any summer before this.