I always thought I would be the man who would be king someday...
I was wrong...
I'm lower right now than I ever have been before and I still desperately need someone.
I feel like everything is a lie right now.
I just don't understand how she can be so ok right now.
I feel like someone put her up to this, because it just doesn't make any sense and I can't carry on like this. I need somebody...so bad.
I dreamt about her and I thought that it was all a dream, but I woke up and realized that it wasn't and she seems so fine. I screamed and cried and fell back to sleep and skipped class for the day, but I know I can't do it forever. I really need to get out of this place and all of it's damn memories that it carries. Nothing is bothering her.
How can you leave someone you were going to get married to and just be so happy. It's almost as if she's rubbing something in my face. Like she's trying to make me feel like shit and she's going to be happy while doing it. I feel like I just fell into a glass and salt factory only to stumble out in pain and walk into a gunpowder factory and it just so happens some guy hates his job and lit the place up.
I can't even express how much it hurts to think about all of the memories playing through my head. If she would just talk to me, I'd feel better.
She's angry at me for something and I don't know what I did. We were fine over the weekend but she said she decided it over the weekend. How can I make someone happy who isn't happy and won't tell me. What am I supposed to do?
I have no direction right now. I finally ate about 10 minutes ago and I feel better. Not much, but food helps everything. I've been at work and I'm trapped and there's nowhere I can go. I want to disappear so badly right now...I wish I didn't exist and honestly me typing this all up helps a bit.
I need to talk to her
There has to be something I can do or she has to say something to make this better...
1 comments:
Reason is the slow and tortuous method by which these who do not know the truth discover it. The heart has its own reason which reason does not know.
-Blaise Pascal
That was the quote that got me throw when my fiance too, left me. It was an inevitable shock to say the least, and I know what you are going through, and I know what you feel.
To top it off, I did never know why he did leave me, but he did.
And you shouldn't let that happen to you. You don't want to live the rest of your life wondering what in the world you did, it isn't a good feeling. You have to get in contact with her and talk with her, if she insists that the engagement is over, well then dear, you're going to have to accept it.
But think of it like this, would you want to be with someone who can snap to such a tremendous decision, without consoling you first, in the first place?
Things happen, we just have to let them.
I do hope you feel better, and I'm here if you need an ear. Talking to strangers is very welcoming.
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