Life has a funny way of turning itself around eh? The woman I loved for 4 years of my life, turned out to be a whore. Surprise huh? Not really, the surprise was finding out one of my oldest friends is now dating her. *Facepalm*
Sooooo yeah there's that. Another surprise being that, I've been able to get over all of this fairly quickly, maybe because it happened 3 times prior or maybe because the soul knows when the body is dating a whore. Either way, I don't care much. I don't really care. I'm happy because I HAVE moved on and that's the best thing about it. I suppose this residing anger inside of me is just because I don't think she deserves anything but I suppose that may change over time.
I'm happy because someone has been here for me, someone is still here for me. She's been the best helping hand anyone could ask for and I love her with all my heart, but she's not alone, but she is amazing. Her name is Lauren and I'm extremely lucky to have her.
I have some of the greatest friends as well. I have more helping hands that anyone could ask for.
I want to thank my friend Maggie for keeping me positive and reminding me what I have to live for and why I need to keep fighting the darkness inside myself and just keep pushing forward.
I wish I could do something spectacular for all of them to thank them for what they've done for me.
It's so hard to be positive when you don't have a job and you've been kicked a million times. I'm working on it and I'm feeling better. Looking back I'm noticing a lot of my posts were extremely negative and I don't know who or what's to blame for that. Whether it be the whore or if it be the way I used to see myself.
I've been in the mindset since I was a kid that I'm not good enough, but that's changing and it's a long and difficult road. I've never thought of myself as one to amount to anything basically because of the way my life has played out or because of the things that the people who mattered always told me. I'm actually for the first time in my life finding things about me that I don't hate. I've lived my life up until this point hating myself and never knowing why. But thanks to some help I'm working on finding out what it is about myself that someone should find worth loving and that's the hardest, most difficult thing I've ever attempted.
I suppose that's all for now and I guess we'll see where it goes from here.
I'm happy because someone has been here for me, someone is still here for me. She's been the best helping hand anyone could ask for and I love her with all my heart, but she's not alone, but she is amazing. Her name is Lauren and I'm extremely lucky to have her.
I have some of the greatest friends as well. I have more helping hands that anyone could ask for.
I want to thank my friend Maggie for keeping me positive and reminding me what I have to live for and why I need to keep fighting the darkness inside myself and just keep pushing forward.
I wish I could do something spectacular for all of them to thank them for what they've done for me.
It's so hard to be positive when you don't have a job and you've been kicked a million times. I'm working on it and I'm feeling better. Looking back I'm noticing a lot of my posts were extremely negative and I don't know who or what's to blame for that. Whether it be the whore or if it be the way I used to see myself.
I've been in the mindset since I was a kid that I'm not good enough, but that's changing and it's a long and difficult road. I've never thought of myself as one to amount to anything basically because of the way my life has played out or because of the things that the people who mattered always told me. I'm actually for the first time in my life finding things about me that I don't hate. I've lived my life up until this point hating myself and never knowing why. But thanks to some help I'm working on finding out what it is about myself that someone should find worth loving and that's the hardest, most difficult thing I've ever attempted.
I suppose that's all for now and I guess we'll see where it goes from here.
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